but this isn't a post about pollen, sneezing or itchy/watery eyes. if you've read this blog at all, you know the only things i post about with any frequency are barbershop and poison ivy. my last post covered barbershop, so there's your clue.
it's spring, as in "plants spring to life after they laid dormant all winter and fall and you thought they were dead and never coming back". that's right. i've been scouring the yard for poison sprouts...and finding them. sometimes they come up singularly, with their tiny, bright red leaves. other times, they are apart of a 10 foot vine running along the surface of the yard. either way, i've been on a mission all spring to eradicate all things poison ivy from the yard without infecting myself in the process. so far, so good.
yesterday, i decided i was tired of looking at the remnants of last years battle. the vines are dead and dry, the branches brittle and ugly. check it out:
i figured it was time to find some things out.
1. are those dead, dry poison ivy vines still capable of infecting people?
2. just how many of those vines can i rip down with my bare hands?
my goal was to answer the 1st by doing the 2nd.
saturday, after Andrea, the dog and i did the annual Mordecai yard sales, Andrea went to a baby shower, so that was my opportunity. she hates when i mess with the poison ivy, b/c i usually end up with it. assuming i would get it from head to toe, i thought a "before" picture would be prudent:
you can see i'm already in a bad mood.
our neighbor Matt and his little girl were in their back yard shed (you can see it in the pic below). when the 30 foot long "vine" came crashing down on the fence that separated us, it sounded like the whole tree to which it had been attached came down, instead. he came running out of the shed, "are you alright??". i was just standing there, a little shocked and making sure i hadn't just destroyed the fence, which it turns out i hadn't. he threw the the several feet of death-wood that had landed in his yard and i went about my business. it looked something like this:
there was all kinds of dust and bark falling down into my face and sticking to my body as the vine was coming off the tree. the good news is, i think i found the answer to question #1, which is "No". the answer to question #2 is "2". here's what the 2nd one looked like:
now, with the dog thrown in for scale:
i eventually removed my gloves and bare-handed the vine-wood. with loppers in hand, it cleaned up into about 3 piles, similar to this one:
you know how you can count the rings in the cross-section of a tree to estimate its age? check these babies out:
the 1st 2 are from the vines i ripped down. it's hard to distinguish after 17 or 18:
this is near the base. i would like to cut a cleaner cross section with a saw and get a better count. it looks to be about 18 or so rings, as well.
are there any botanists out there that can back me up on this? is this the largest, most disgusting poison ivy you've ever seen? i'll make you a deal: you come out and remove it from my pecan tree and in return, i'll let you study it and what not for as long as you need, provided it's less than a week. and you pay me.
that was yesterday.
today, i went looking for new growth. "new" as in, growth i hadn't seen before, but not necessarily "new", you know? along our back fence is no-mans-land. it's where the dog takes dumps and i dispose of charcoal ash. it's overgrown and i knew there had to be some poison ivy lurking back there unnoticed. my job was to find and neutralize it. and did i ever find it...
i didn't see much growing on the ground, so i looked up to scan the trees and what i saw horrified me: a very healthy poison ivy vine with long branches and very large leaves, probably 30 feet over my head. i was so pissed, i got my gloves on and started tugging on it. most of it came down, but the vine snapped and a large chunk was suspended in the air. Andrea was home by this point and stayed to watch the rest of the show. to get the rest of this new vine, i had to go after it. so up into the tree i went. at one point, the dog was on the ground below, barking and whining, i was about 8 feet up in the air with my right hand firmly grasping a freshly severed poison ivy vine, the majority of which was over my head and threatening to come down on top of me and i was imagining the worst case scenario of me falling out of the tree and landing on the dog...both of us strangling on the vine.
long story short, i made it out with only minor brushes of leaves on my ankles and right arm. as soon as i hit the ground, i ran into the house and showered. let's hope it was enough. behold the fruit:
Nice Flowers
click for super-high res. aren't they beautiful??? my eyes itch just from looking at this picture.
i look forward to the day when little white children can play with little black children in my back yard and not get infected with friggin' poison ivy!! i feel like the whole property should be condemned sometimes. it's not safe. how long am i going to have to put up with this stuff?
2 comments:
No NO No ...you're looking at it all wrong. You should be proud. Look at our green thumbs! We can grow things!
if not for you, i wouldn't have any comments! thanks for reading about stuff you already know and writing things you already told me in person. i love you!
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